Three Love Lessons I’ve Learned From Books

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Ahh it feels like such a long time since I’ve written a post even though it’s only been a couple days. 🙈 This past week has been filled with so much schoolwork, but I made it through!! Hopefully, I’ll be able to use this week to catch up on writing, blog hopping, and reading all the books that are piling up in my TBR.

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day weekend, I thought it would be fun to write about the love lessons I’ve learned simply from reading books. 💖 Romance often plays an integral piece of the many stories we read, and each book gives a different perspective. For me, it’s been a great way to learn about what I’m personally looking for and understand what constitutes a healthy (or unhealthy) relationship. Here are the three best lessons I’ve learned:

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1. Date Someone Who Treats You As An Equal

Percy and Annabeth. Kaz and Inej. Lei and Wren. The best couples I’ve seen in real life (and also in books) are ones where both individuals respect one another. A healthy relationship goes beyond physical attraction or being good friends—you have to respect their passions and goals. 💞 You shouldn’t view them as someone beneath you, but it also isn’t very healthy to think that you are superior. One of my close friends broke up with her ex-boyfriend because she felt like his babysitter. Yikes! Percy and Annabeth are both kickass heroes, but Percy knows that Annabeth can hold her own. (Art by Viria and AmandaDuarte)

2. Be Comfortable As Individuals

Someone once told me that you should be comfortable and happy as an independent person before you start looking for a significant other. Your partner shouldn’t be your whole world. They obviously should mean a lot to you, but you should both be okay with spending time apart. At the same time, this also means understanding the importance of giving each other space when needed. This goes hand in hand with the first lesson because beyond respecting your partner you should also be respecting yourself. ✨

3. Thrive As a Team

Teamwork makes the dream work! 🌸 Kaz Brekker and Inej Ghafa separately are two lethal and fearless masterminds…but when Kaz and Inej are together, they’re unstoppable. Even though you and your partner should thrive in your respective elements, you should also be working together as a team to grow as individuals. One person’s success is the other person’s success. Being a team means compromising when needed and pushing each other to be great.

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Who are your favorite fictional couples?

Let me know in the comments! 💕

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32 thoughts on “Three Love Lessons I’ve Learned From Books”

  1. I totally agree with this post! I think that reading really does allow me to see all the ways a relationship can pan out and what all the pitfalls are. One of the things that used to bug me greatly in books was the miscommunication plotline. It still frustrates me, but I realize now that it also allowed me to work on my own communication skills because I didn’t want to have such awful mix-ups in my life.

    All of my favorite couples have the great dynamics you mentioned in this post. I think that’s why Feyre and Rhysand are my ultimate favorite couple. They work so well together both as a couple and as individuals and that makes them so great to read about!

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    1. Aww thank you, Malka!! I definitely agree that reading about so many different relationships really helps me better understand the struggles that may arise and to understand that communications is key. ❤

      Feyre and Rhys are really wonderful!! I think they're a great example, especially in contrast with Tamlin. I don't know if you've also read SJM's Throne of Glass series, but I was thinking the same way with two of her characters as well. 🙂

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    1. Thanks Stephanie ❤ ❤ ❤ I think Jason and Piper are also super cute and a wonderful couple. I've been in a contemporary mood lately, and I think Kasie West has great couples to get behind if you're looking for a recommendation 🙂

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  5. I love this! I totally agree with all three things. If you can’t respect each other, things aren’t going to work in the long run. If you can’t function without one another, it’s pretty unhealthy, actually.

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    1. Yes!! Thank you!! I think it’s so important and that all three things are tied together too. Respect ties into being able to work well as a team. I also completely agree with being unable to function without one another. You shouldn’t be relying on your partner completely because it is unhealthy!

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  6. Oh what a lovely post and I 200% agree with all of your arguments there. It’s so important to read about healthy relationships in young adult books and it’s so, so important to have them in real life, too and to respect the other as an individual, to give each other time and space to be themselves, too. Fantastic post! 😀

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    1. Thanks Marie ❤ It's honestly been a wonderful way for me (and other readers) to learn about healthy and unhealthy relationships even when it's genres ranging from fantasy to contemporary! I think seeing the struggles and how couples overcoming them is not only entertaining to read but also teaches important lessons. 🙂

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  7. I totally agree with your post! Respect is so important, as well as trust. In fiction, I tend to love when one gets worried about the other getting hurt WHILE at the same time knowing full well they can take care of themselves (if that makes sense??). But respect, 100% always.

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  8. Lovely post 🙂 And agree with all 3 points!
    I usually keep telling everyone that i don’t read romance, which is true. But when i read a book, let’s say a crime one, and a character happens to fall in love or have a spouse with whom they have a lovely relationship, i don’t mind it.

    So my fave couples come from such books, hehe. I really like Detective Barry Duckworth and his wife Maureen. They married for like 30 years, but they are just so lovely and the way they behave with each other is just nice to read about. (They are featured quite a lot in the Promise Falls Trilogy by Linwood Barclay).

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    1. Thank you, Norrie!! I think even crime novels can teach us important things about romance. I typically read Fantasy and Contemporary, and I’ve been able to learn a lot just by those two alone.

      I haven’t read the books you’ve mentioned, but I love how you describe them and their relationship, too!

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  9. Aww, this is such a great list. I’ve been married to my husband for 13 years and I can say each of these points are true for us, and possibly why I’m more in love with him now than when we said I do. Three cheers for romance novels!

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  10. Oh yes! That’s so important. I don’t see that very often in YA (often it’s more physical and chemistry! which is totally fun but still…) I’d love to see more of what I want to see in a real-life partner or relationship.

    My favorite romances are the ones in the Books of Bayern and Princess Academy series by Shannon Hale. They all respect and trust each other and their skills, and they can also work together well and flourish as a team.

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  11. This was such a fun and different way to incorporate Valentines Day with books – I definitely agree with all these points! I feel like lately I’ve been reading books where the romances just haven’t been working for me and these points definitely could be reasons why.

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    1. Thank you!! I had so much fun writing it ❤ That definitely could be a reason why the romances aren't working for you. I find that I can't seem to get into relationships in books when they don't seem healthy or are toxic. Thank you so much for reading my post Riva 🙂

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  12. These are 3 very important points. And, its beautiful how Percabeth satisfies all these, and many more. They believe in each other, are okay being away for a while, and are probably the best team out there. Its admirable how beautifully Riordan penned them.

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  15. Love this post Tiffany! Totally agree with all the points you made, I love Kaz and Inej so much both because they’re fierce and lethal as individuals, but when te work together like you said, they’re unstoppable.

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    1. YES ❤ I'm so glad that you enjoyed it!! They're honestly couple goals with how they're able to balance everything so well 🙂 They're an inspiration of how to be independent individuals but also a kickass team 😉

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